Last Injection Weight - 187.4
Today's Weight 188.0
Yesterday's Weight 188.4
0.4 Loss From Yesterday
0.6 lb Over LIW
Here is my menu for yesterday.
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Would you look at that??? Did I mention I was in the ZONE??? I felt it again yesterday. NO pressure about food, just eating what I wanted when I wanted. It felt GOOD. I am BACK people! Back to where I was last P3 - and the weight is showing it. There is something about that "feeling" - where you just KNOW that your there. Do you want to know another reason how I know I am in the ZONE??? I am now ready for P2 again! ROFL!!! HA! But I am giving it the three weeks, and a few days after that for a taste of P4 and then for a shortened round 3!
You know how else I know my body is in the Zone??? I could have BANANA's again! Yup! I made an semi low carb Banana Cream Pie last night, and I gotta tell you, it was DELISH! Chock full of calories mind you, but a small slice just put a great end to a great day. I posted the recipe to the left.
So what was my menu yesterday???
Breakfast: Coffee with Half and Half, and some Harvarti Cheese - I'm out of Pumpkin Serniki's :(All in all, about 1700 cals separated into 105 fat, 93 carbs, and 97 protein. Still not enough protein, ugh. I gotta work on that one.
Mid Morning Snack: Leftover Ground Pork Burger with a bit of catsup and hotsauce
Lunch: Large Salad (lettuce, tomato, onion and avocado) with my regular homemade dressing
Mid Afternoon Snack: OMG! Ricotta Cheese with a dollup of Spaghetti Sauce, mmmmm
Dinner: Hubby's Chili
Dessert: Banana Cream Pie
Thanks for all the comments yesterday on my "confession" - I need people to remember that this is MY journey, and that I only have to answer to myself, just like each and every one of you do. I make mistakes, I push the envelope, but in the end, I have to defer to what the good doctor says. So bear with me people as I take this journey, mistakes and all. Realize that I too am human and that I am prone to indiscretions. I am not perfect. And I admit to not adhering to this protocol perfectly. But then again, I am doing this on my own, and not with a doctors supervision, so I am figuring it out as I go along. With the help of all you wonderful people out there, I am figuring out what works for me, I hope you all do the same. Sometimes I feel like I am letting some people down by telling all the gory details of my journey, but I feel all must be said, warts and all. So again, please bear with me when I make mistakes.
That being said, and since I am again running out of time (geesh, I really talk too much) please take a look at this website:
Fear of Success
According to this article, there are 5 reasons why people have a fear of success, where do you fit? I find myself fitting into the #1 category. Where do you find yourself? I feel that I have been overweight for most of my life, that being thin means that I will be a different person ... a person I don't know how to be. A person I am not familiar with. And here at 45, how does one change the mentality of a "jolly overweight" person and translate that into a "thin who knows what I will be like" person.
Is it stereotypical to consider all overweight people to be jolly? I thought of myself as jolly, did you? Was being the funny one in the crowd a veil I wore to hide my obesity? Like if I was funny, people wouldn't notice that I was fat, or if they did, they would love me anyway because I was funny? What will I use to hold peoples attention when I am thin? Will I want to hold peoples attention when I am thin? Will I become invisible because I don't want people to realize that I was once fat, and that I am thin now? How should I act? These things plague me.
What will I talk about if I can't talk about food? Or weight issues? Do I have to become more versed on other subjects? Do I have to appear smart to be involved in conversations when I am thin.
I know these things sound very shallow, but again, I haven't been really THIN in my adult life, I honestly don't know how to act. What to say, how to hold a person's attention. These are things that cross my mind.
Which one do you fit in? Again, you can either use my comment box, or my Tag-Board of if you don't feel comfortable discussing this in the open, feel free to drop me an e-mail at bizadventure at comcast dot net.
Ok, peeps, I really have to go, this has taken WAY too long to write.
Did I mention I am going to see my sister on Sunday for a week? Over the next few days, I will be posting, but will be scarce.
Bear with me! UGH
Biz
5 Comments:
Hey girl! Morning and nice post there. I agree and I appreciate you posting all of your thoughts and "slip ups" so to speak. I too think this is my journey and I have to figure out what works for me. I can not answer for anyone else. People are emailing me constantly asking, What are you doing? or What are you eating? and I just tell them you are going to have to figure that one out yourself. I will, of course, share my menu but put a disclaimer after every email stating this may not work for you.
So onto self sabotage. Yes, I am that little fat girl with glasses that got picked on constantly. I was always the source of someone' s jokes. I have never been thin...since 5 years old. I have always been a chunky butt. So I dont know how to act either. But the good news is people like my personality so I will just let her shine more. :D Sarcasim and all!
I have noticed that I am walking with my head a bit higher now-a-days and seem to be able to strike up conversations with "strangers" without hesitation. So I am hoping the psychological aspects of weightloss will correct itself.
I think they actually did a special on this issue a year ago or so on Extreme Makeover. That many of the patients they saw were having a difficult time with the mental issues of what it means to be "thin" and no longer fat. It was really tough on many of them.
What do you guys think?
Sorry so long. :D
Crystal
I enjoyed reading your post. Another congrats for staying stable.
Thanks gobble gobs for the banana recipe. After my banana pancake yesterday I was considering ideas like this... can't wait to try it!
I read the article. I guess I would fit into #4, the I can't do it syndrome. However, this doesn't keep me from trying, over & over & OVER. Now that I am doing it, can I keep doing it?
Your thoughts about #1 is interesting because we all do change with weight loss. People interact with us differently, and confidence increases. Some cycle there I think.
I don't believe you are letting anyone down at all! I don't consider variations as mistakes... it's more like exploration. Just me.
Hey Biz! Thanks for taking the time to post, eventhough it seems like you're crazy busy!
You did awesome yesterday! I'm drooling over your banana creme pie recipe. Banana creme pie is one of my favourites.. don't supposed you have a low carb pecan pie up your sleeve? hehe
It was interesting to read that "Fear of Success" article. I don't think I fit into any of those categories. My fear stems from the fact that I've lived in my city for 10 years, and for 10 years, all my friends have known me to be fat. I wasn't fat before I moved here. (although I've struggled all my life) So, I think I define myself as that thin person. My fear is that my friends won't accept the new me. I worry that I won't "fit" in my life anymore. I don't dress as fashionably as I like, because I hate shopping at this size. I rarely wear make-up, or do anything special with my hair... etc. It's like I don't want to be noticed.
When I've lost the weight, I want to go back to the old me; the one that loved shopping and buying make-up and getting dressed up, etc. I worry that my friends will all think I've changed, when really it's this fat Cheryl that has changed. I'll be the same on the inside, but I'll be more proud of the outside. Does that make sense?
Glad to hear you're cruising in the "Zone" again!
Hey I can understand that you've got all those self doubts about your identity as a thin person, but I just need to tell you that being thin doesn't erase your sense of humor. You are losing weight not IQ points. Humor and wit are a sign of intelligence and you've got all three girl! And now you're HOT to boot. So at the risk of sounding like I'm taking your fears lightly, I know that all you have to do is take a little time to let your inner ID catch up to your new thin appearance and just have fun with it until you get there! Now you won't be noticed because of your size, you will be noticed because of you. And you know that if people liked you at a larger size, the things they liked about you ARE STILL there, but they won't be distracted by your weight! Here are a few more points I'd like to make: Normal sized people are not that noticable until they actually do something to make themselves noticed (good or bad.) They don't have people looking at them in disgust when they are eating fattening foods. And if they bump into someone, their "excuse me" is taken for just a politeness not an excuse! So just enjoy it until it becomes your new "normal" and have fun grabbing the size "S" off the rack and having it fit every time!
By the way, I can't decide if I'm a type 3 or 4 or 5. Maybe a combo! Maybe I have less fear than some because I was thin longer than I've been fat so I can remember what it felt like and I really want it back. So I'll be looking forward to joining you in that category soon. Good luck!
Becca
Crystal - it's a hard thing mentally this getting thin. And I wonder if we have a tougher time of it because this is really an easy way for it to come off? Who knows. I wish I was a psychiatrist at times ya know?
Amy - thanks for the words of wisdom, I really appreciate the thoughts you have. Can I keep doing it??? Interesting thought on that one. My very first day of my 2nd round, my first 500 cal day that is, I went thru all sorts of self doubts, it was like, can I really do this for another 6 weeks??? What the HECK was I thinking???? Hmmmmmmm
Cheryl - Ya know? As much as I absolutely LOVE pecans, I have never really liked Pecan Pie - It may not seem this way, but sweets were never my thing. My thing was always chips and dips. This banana thing I have right now is really form another planet! What you said makes perfect sense. Funny, I have always been one that everyone knows that I hate shopping. My idea of a good time is NOT going to the mall and shop, will THAT change once I am more comfortable with my body???
Becca - Thanks for bring it all back around to reality girlfriend! Wow, the things you say make really good sense. I am going to ponder these things today! Especially the part about thin people not being noticed until they do something. Wow, profound thought there. Thanks for the visit!
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