R3P2 Starting Weight 193.2
Yesterday - 181.0
Today - 180.2
0.8 lb LOSS Overnight
7.2 UNDER LIW of Round Two (187.4)
13.0 Lost Since Start of R3 (VLCD) 11/26/07
34.2 Lost Since Start of R2 (VLCD) 09/16/07
70.6 Lost Since Start of R1 (VLCD) 06/26/07
Here is my menu for yesterday.
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WOW! Totally cool on that one! In the interest of full disclosure, yesterday I did not have grapefruit, but instead an orange. So who knows! I did make it to my 70 POUNDS LOST! I am not gonna celebrate yet tho, I wanna hit that 75 pounds! That will be my next milestone! I am so greedy! None the less, I am only 2 pounds away from my goal!
Ok, here is my much anticipated POST! LOL
After a very thought provoking conversation with a fellow HCG blogger the other day, I finally have my head in the right place to discuss this thing I have been wanting to for more than a week now. Thanks goes to this blogger for knowing what to say and the right questions to ask so that I finally knew how to approach it.
The following is going to be very random, I am writing as I am thinking and don’t want to concentrate too much on structure so be prepared for haphazard points.
This whole thought process stems from a post way back at the beginning of November on the HCG2 board that spoke about what the plans were for everyone over the fall break coming up at the end of the month. The post had a certain tone about it, most likely not intended, but none the less it was there. It could totally be my perception so keep that in mind.
It spoke about being strong enough to make it thru the break while on P2 – that there would be other family functions in the future and that we should all be committed enough to the program to be able to face this head on. Well that struck me odd. Let me tell you why.
When JPS and I scheduled our rounds, we took into account the times when the entire family would be home and we timed the rounds so that we would be on ‘breaks’ while these things were going on. Part of our reasoning was that we did want to have the family have to suffer because we couldn’t eat what they are eating. Now that may sound strange to you, especially since we daily deal with our family. But these are special times. These are breaks from school, breaks from work, special occasions. Why make the program harder than it already is.
Not to say that the protocol is HARD, because in reality, this is one of the simplest ‘diets’ I have ever been on. But to take a special occasion, where food is a ‘focal’ point and totally disregard the effect food has on the emotional well being of the gathering, well, that is just making things harder than they need to be.
Food is supposed to be fun, isn’t that what we are all learning? Food isn’t meant to be a contest of wills. We are trying to learn new habits, and new ways of considering food. Some occasions happen only once in a year, some others only happen once in a lifetime. Why spend it being miserable, because ultimately you know that is what is going to happen.
The comment from this particular poster almost (keyword ALMOST) made me feel like I was weak because I was choosing to take a break during these special times. But then I watched several people not make it thru this special occasion and feel all kinds of guilt, remorse, and just plain miserable because they ‘caved’ under the pressure of the occasion. Would it have been better to realize that these occasions are meant to be special, and treat them as such?
What is the lesser of two evils? Realizing this is a special occasion, taking a PLANNED interruption (as long as you have gone thru the 21 injections like Dr S says) of a couple of days, and getting back on plan, maybe losing a total of 4 or 5 days OR thinking you will make it thru, and for whatever reason you don’t, and it stalls you for a week with the added guilt and miserable feelings you end up with for not being strong enough to resist the temptation. To me, it’s a recipe for disaster. We are social creatures; eating time is an important time for us. It’s a time for fun, talk, and sampling of life’s delicacies.
It may be just me, and it may be just human tendency, but when given the “permission” to do something, it’s just not that fun anymore to do it. For example, if I take the time off from the protocol, and I am allowed to eat P3 foods, my will is not tested as much as if I was to be on a strict P2 thing during that same time. So my chances to just say “the heck with it” are slimmer if given permission than if not.
Does making these planned interruptions make me weak? That is what I have been struggling with. I have finally come to the conclusion that no it does not. I am strong, and I am getting stronger each day. My decisions are my own. Nobody should insinuate to anyone whether or not they are capable of being ‘strong’ enough to make it thru special times.
Please understand I am not talking about the everyday things that come up from day to day, like “hey, can we meet for lunch” thing. I am talking about those things you know MONTHS ahead of time about. Weddings, holidays, anniversaries. These things happen far enough ahead of time for us to ‘work around’ the protocol.
Seriously, we have in our hands the most miraculous thing I have ever seen. I know that each one of us have been on ‘diets’ before, and been trained to believe that once you lose, you will gain, so our mentality has been, HURRY, let’s get this off QUICK – because it will NEVER work the next time. But everyone, I am here to tell you it does. I am on my third round and this dang thing is STILL working. My first round was not a “golden” shot opportunity. I can always get back on this whenever I want KNOWING that it will work each and every time.
It’s a personal decision. One that no one should feel bad about. I said numerous times to those that were going to go thru the fall break on P2 that they were “more than me” because I knew I couldn’t do it. But now I know I did not say that from a feeling of weakness, but from a feeling of strength. I want to enjoy my breaks with my family. If that means making me P3 acceptable foods that I can enjoy with my family, then by all means, I am not left out. Does that mean I can cook and handle food and TASTE it like all good cooks do without worry what harm it will do on my P2 plan, then buddy, sign me up!
Again, this is not a contest of wills. This is a lifetime change we are making and one week out of the protocol is not going to produce disastrous results. I have a very dear online friend, who on the Sunday before the holiday decided she was going to change her decision about going thru P2 on that break. She stopped her doses, did her 72 hours, Wednesday she starting eating P3 foods, enjoyed the next 4 days eating pretty much what she wanted in the right proportions, but didn’t stress or miss out on anything. On Monday morning, she started her P2 again, only 1.5 lbs heavier. The next week she lost an additional 4 pounds.
Did I consider her weak? NOPE! She knew in her heart that she would rather take the chance of eating well NOT on HCG, then being on HCG and blowing it. The point is, blowing it ON HCG is much worse then blowing it OFF HCG. See the picture? With HCG in your system, added foods are NASTY. Why take that chance?
Anyway, I don’t want to convince anyone on either direction, just wanting to put it out there how I feel. Thanks for letting me ramble, and this probably is anticlimactic for all the buildup I gave to it.
I think I got all my points across, if not, stay tuned for part 2! ROFL
Update on my son: He broke his small stall yesterday and is down to 176.8 - that was a 1.4 lb drop from the day before! WOO HOO FOR HIM! Well, he is going out of town with his father today, so I wont have an update for the next couple of days, he will not be able to weigh himself again until Monday morning, so no more updates until then.
Update on JPS: She stalled yesterday, but is not worried. So she is at 158.8 - she mixed us a new batch last night, so we have fresh HCG!!! Gotta love it!
On to my commenter's:
Lili - Was the site Portuguese? Could you read it? Or are you just one amazing cookie? That's probably it! LOL - Well, maybe you can see it on your own computer one day, it was pretty neat stuff.Whew, that was a lot of writing! I am OVER this for today!
Wendy - Thanks for joining in on the book club fun! I will let my son know your kind words!
CB - Thanks for the kind words about my son, I will be sure to let him see them! HA! I hope the family/food talk wasn't a let down! I have this habit of building things better than they need to be! ROFL
Crystal - I will let my son know your kind words! I am getting excited about the book club!
Amy - You noticed that too huh? Each time, dangit, that I get close to that "decade" my body decides WOE, not gonna do it! LOL - thanks for the kind words about my son. He is trying so hard, I give him so much credit for doing this as a teenager. Good for him!
Mary - Thanks for the nice words! I will be sure to let my son know. We are ALL doing it yes?
Brooke - You are in Georgia??? What part? We travel to Augusta/Martinez all the time because of family obligations. Tell me!!! I sure hope my family/food thing wasn't a let down, like I told CB, I have this habit of building things in my head till it's so big, and then it's really nothing! ROFL - but it was a big thing for me.
Jennifer - Do you have a blog somewhere? A stud? LOL! I will tell him, he is going around the house saying "when I am a sexy man"!!! I just love it! I got his sexy! ROFL - he is a killer looker tho! OMG! How can someone that has lost that kind of weight be UNHAPPY with a .6 loss, give me a break! SLAP HIM! That is what we usually do to the men around here, we just need to SLAP them to remind them they got it easy! ROFL
Paul - Thank you SO MUCH for coming out of lurkdom! I glanced at your blog last night and I must say I found it so enjoyable to read. I will be adding it to my daily readings that is for sure. I told Marshall that it is nice to have all this 'testosterone' among all this 'estrogen' - men can be so very logical about this, but it's also cool to see how the men handle the protocol. Thank you so much for sharing, and I will let my son know what you said. You are having fantastic results, congrats on that!
HCG Believer - Will be adding your blog to my daily reads!
Cheryl - Mecca! HA! That struck me as funny! I just write what I feel. I am so happy it helps people. I was given so much help in the beginning myself, I am just paying it forward. As far as my son? I will be beating the girls off with a stick. They have to pass the "mom" test. LOL - He is a very good boy, and he only deserves the best.
B - thanks for stopping by, I will let my son know what you said! I know about the slowing down, but it's all just part of the process B.
Becca - Thanks for the words about my son, I will be sure to let him know your thoughts. Yes, indeed, this protocol DOES work!
Tracey - WOO HOO, you are on board! Lovin it!
Biz
10 Comments:
Hey baby -- I appreciate your post on the famly holiday eating issues. I think I was one of the people blithely saying missing holiday eating this years was no biggie -- I don't think I'm the poster you're talking about in paticular, but one who had said that, for me, I wasn't going to miss it.
Now, if I had a huge family to cook for, gather with, break bread with, so to speak, that would be different. But I don't -- no family on my side, and daughter is part of my ex-husband's huge extended family's celebrations. I've blogged before about what eating means for humans -- it is not always just for bodily sustenance; it is also a celebration of abundance, love, togetherness, family, all those things. Especially "thanksgiving" and Xmas. And that's OK. That's reality. For us on this HCG journey, we are learning to have a bit of balance, not always eat for emotional sustenance, etc... And we are teaching our hypothalmus to metabolise our food more healthfully.
From the first days when we are cuddled and loved at our mother's breast, to later when she packs a special treat in our school lunches, we inevitabley feel that love with food. That's not only being human, that's being a mammal. My kitties won't eat in the morning unless I stand next to them while they eat. If I move away they run back to get me.
I am learning to REALLY LOVE what I choose to eat. I think that's key. Again, we've discussed that all before on our blogs too.
Not having big family celebrations to participate in this year and last is a bit sad, but I consoled myself that this year it wouldn't matter, because I was going to be doing HCG through the holidaze. And look -- I'M the one who has to take a break (for medical reasons) until February!!!
Now -- imaginary scenario -- if I were to be participating in the festive feasts this year, I would take little bites of the loveliest items on the table and have a great time. I might even stay on P2 and do it -- my experience has been that I can do this for a day and not suffer any gain. Or much.
Feeling guilty about it would make me stuff it in and not taste it -- shove those feelings down! And, while being as disciplined as all heck, I am also all about working the program creatively if necessary. Being directly honest with myself, owning my cheats, but being flexible.
I was vegan for 16 years; I didn't eat sugar for 3 years; I did all sorts of extreme eating for extended periods of time. At the time I believed I was doing it for my health. Now I believe it was my obsessive tendencies -- akin to an eating disorder of sorts. Feeling out of control of my life if I wasn't rigorously controlling my food choices. Then I swung the other way, said "what the heck", got fat. Now I strive for balance. It's hard! It's hard being a conscious eater! He he, very Zen of me. "The Tao of Eating" -- OMG, I just googled that title and there's a book already by that title -- looks like a must-read! Seriously!
Anyhow, this protocol is very forgiving eith occasional cheats. And yes, we should celebrate life! Especially as it is so fragile. I lost a couple friends this year -- very suddenly, at young ages. To gather with loved ones and share a meal is an important ritual.
I guess what I'm saing is that, for me, I'm not missing anything, so I'm not miserable. But in the situations you describe, I wholeheartedly agree with you -- celebrate, love, and eat judiciously!
Wow nice one girl.
Okay so I too have to comment due to experience. It is MUCH more devastating to "cheat" on HCG than off. Since I was a newbie last time I did not fully comprehend this and thus is why I got sick. (The Wedding Reception) I remember when I told by Best Friend that I stayed in the hospital that night b.c of food issues, I will not forget the look on her face. She was so upset (sad). Almost like she did it to me...poor thing. I thought then I would never put someone in that situation again.
I have really been struggling about Christmas. Can I play dumb for a minute and honestly say I FORGOT you could break from injections after 21 doses? I might need to do this as well. This is the only time of year I see my family (30 people in all) and we have a HUGE meal eat year. I want it to be special but if I am on VLCD then there are #1 going to be stares and #2 as you said, family members feeling uncomfortable.
I need your help to do this right, because I have never "gone off" hcg before. I think if I take my last shot on Friday before, then 72 hours, then Tuesday I can eat P3 foods right?
But thanks for the information hon!
Crystal
Wow, you sure had a lot to say today, but I agree with you whole heartedly about the break. We are strong and no one can tell us differently!! We have made this decision for ourselves and no one else!! Who gives a sh** what others say, we do what we feel is right for us and us only. We will be thinner and healthier in the end and that's all that matters, right?
Well said, Biz! I've felt that way all along. This protocol isn't meant to make us feel like prisoners, but rather to let us experience freedom; freedom to make right choices. Like you, I planned my P2 around the holidays. There's not a thing wrong with that. I think it's the smart thing to do. Some have a will of iron. I don't and I know it.
As for the build-up, I think it is something that weighed heavily on your mind and you took time to wrap your head around it. It was big in your mind and I thank you for your thoughts on it. It is reassuring to know that someone I respect shares the same thoughts I do.
Tell son he is doing remarkable and we're all cheering for him. He is doing awesome!
Biz-
Sorry to make you visit my blog, but I responded to a little of what you wrote today on my blog. If you get a chance visit
http://cb9094.blogspot.com/
Thanks for writing on this topic. I hope I did not stray to far from point.
I appreciate your passion and dedication to this Protocol.
First, HOORAY for BIZ on 70 pounds!!!! Holy smokes! You got it going ON girl! In so SO many ways! Truly.
OK, my fav part of what you wrote is about how permission takes the air out of the "oh what the heck" attitude. This hits me, because this is what I struggle with. The whole subject of sane food attitudes & balance are near & dear to my heart. In the past I would devour Lili's writing about normal food attitudes. Both of you have been wonderful inspiration.
Oh, definitely a planned event is not a sign of weakness. In fact, the planning is anything but weak. Whenever I blow a diet, it is NEVER planned! The behavior you exhibited when you are on P3 shows that you are so together. You planned your vacation & you were so sane & reasonable. It's what I've always wanted.
Possibly, the discussion from the group was born of a fear of food & an inability manage food. And perhaps there was some protocol ignorance that we could stop & start again. I didn't read it.
I enjoyed your post, & congrats on another winning day!
WOW 70 pounds.. sounds great.. yeah you are little gready lol.... Just messing with u ... You are just doing great, about your friend, i think she did planned it out good, everybody needs break. Thats why I was thinking bout doing mini P3 that way I can shock my body again and have some cheese for a change :) lol
Another great loss, Biz! You're getting so close to your goal! I'm excited for you!!
I totally planned my Hcg around my family events. I think there are times to focus on my health, and other times I can focus on my family, and enjoying holidays and food with them. I sat down with a calendar just before I started and mapped it all out. I see nothing wrong with that! Maybe the people that posted that you should go through the holidays are just frustrated because they feel like they *have* to go through. I always say do it so it works for you, it's the only way!
Hope you have a great weekend, Biz!
My daughter and I had a conversation just two days ago about whether we should do a planned interruption over the Christmas holiday. It seemed like a better alternative to cheating or completely stopping and going into the 3 weeks of P3. So we will inject up until Dec 21st, then continue on the VLCD without injecting for the 72 hrs, and then resume injecting after Christmas. Reading your post today just struck me as so empowering though, because even though we had basically already decided to do what you laid out in your post, I was still feeling slightly guilty, and your words left me with a feeling of relief and calm about making this decision. So thank you for taking the time to think this through and to present it to us so eloquently.
Biz, I see that scale is still moving in that downward motion! You go girl! Your thoughts were really good. I had planned my rounds around the holidays also. But since I was going to the clinic I thought the bottle would last a 30 days, as they told me you would be on it a month. Well low and behold, it is more like 26-28 days. So I had to make minor adjustments. I was going to update my blog tonight. But caught up with some online friends..so after my massage tomorrow, I have planned to blog!
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